指导孩子度过中学岁月的10个建议

文/ Divya Muralidhara(中学主任)

青少年早期的岁月充满了变化和挑战. 在Waynflete，bet365官网将这一时刻视为深刻的成长和发现. bet365官网的学生是社区运动的领导者, 与更年轻的同龄人一起工作, 由高年级学生指导, 否则就会沉浸在课程中. 在这三年里，bet365官网强调技能建设和前景. Our faculty are invested in 中学 and have broad experience in supporting students and families, and we offer the following advice as you anticipate your child’s entry into 中学:

1. 中学是连续的

在中学阶段，bet365官网看到了这样的成长和分化. 心理学家把青春期称为一个光谱或连续体, and your child may find themself in various places based on the skill or habit they are cultivating. 除了从出生到两岁这段时间, the middle school years present the greatest amount of development within the narrowest time frame. We encourage parents to work on seeing their child as an individual on this continuum, 不要急于与其他年级的同龄人进行比较.

2. 欣赏中学本身

The faculty at Waynflete are devoted to 中学- they cherish the chance to support students during a tumultuous time. Part of what they bring to the program is an appreciation of 中学 for its own sake. 这些年是童年和青年之间的桥梁, 它们也是可以独立存在的离散时刻. There is an immediacy to the experience—when students learn about themselves as students, 找出在课堂上对他们有用的方法, 解决友谊和关系中的问题, and take on the challenge of thinking critically—that is unique to this time.

3. 让基础建立起来，专注于技能培养

The words “skills” and “skill-building” are at the center of conversations between students and faculty in the classroom. We believe that organization is a multi-faceted skill that needs to be nurtured and developed through real, 生活经验. Our faculty members walk students through the fundamentals across the disciplines, 从线性笔记到如何组织一篇五段文章. Faculty members work in 6-12 departments and work in tandem to structure skill development in meaningful ways. The challenge for parents at times is to resist the urge to “take over” a project. 而不是, we encourage parents to go back to the skill(s) that are developing and ask questions of their child about the process. 随着大脑额叶的发育, 执行能力和组织能力加深, and our teachers are here to help students as they get to “know themselves” as learners.

4. 鼓励妇女

Each student has a grade-level advisor who also teaches them in one of their academic subjects. Students begin homeroom each morning with their advisor and a group of grade-level peers. 顾问在这里支持学生的日常时刻, and we work hard to create a setting in which students can ask for help and become self-advocates as they navigate the challenge of multiple assignments and commitments. 父母可以在鼓励孩子自我宣传方面发挥巨大作用. It may be the first time that a child has needed help with an assignment or additional support and guiding them towards taking the first step establishes agency and voice.

5. 让你的孩子优雅地失败

有时, our students fail in their efforts to complete an assignment or another academic commitment. Our teachers create an environment where it is safe to fail; failure can open up dialogue and further self-advocacy. 作为一名教师, I value authenticity above all else; I want to know my students as they truly are. Perhaps one of the hardest aspects of parenting is letting your child fail gracefully. 虽然bet365官网没有低估其中的挑战, bet365官网鼓励家长这样做, 因为这是bet365官网和成长的源泉. Our program is structure so that students “start over” each quarter; grades are not cumulative, which allows students to apply what they have learned from their experience within a set time frame.

6. 视教师为合作伙伴

As you support your child in speaking up and advocating for their individual needs, bet365官网不想错过有价值的对话和语境. Our teachers value the opportunity to work with parents and students in tandem, knowing that those relationships inform their work and the program overall. bet365官网每年举行两次家长会，鼓励这些对话, knowing that so many interactions and moments occur before and after the formal conference. 和孩子的老师谈谈会让人安心, and they always walk away with greater insight about how to support your child. 给他们打个电话!

7. 学会说“不”并设定界限，尤其是在技术方面

Every year, students remind us that they need boundaries and parameters in order to thrive. 在学校, we collect iPads before every school vacation as a way of setting a boundary between the academic program and family time. 在她的书中，心理学家和教育家Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair reminds us that setting norms at home is a way of protecting family relationships. 每个家庭的功能不同, and so parents need to create boundaries that work for their unique circumstances. 学会说“不”是非常重要的, and it is reassuring to children to see that their parent is in charge and looking out for their best interests.

8. 允许学生在中学阶段有更多的独立性

Our eighth graders remind us of the growth that occurs in a two-year period, bet365官网的做法需要尊重这一发展. Having the same rules and expectations can feel confining to students as they develop. 和你的孩子谈谈什么对他们有用, how they are feeling and what they would like to see in terms of greater trust for their own independence. 允许孩子“争取”他们的特权可能是有益的, as well as establishing regular times to talk about what’s working and what could improve.

9. 不要在冲突的时候谈论问题

bet365官网最好的一些对话是在车里进行的, 在去学校或赴约的路上, 在冲突时刻之外. 在自我意识高涨的时期, 以一种更普遍的方式谈论问题可能会更有成效. 对于父母来说，问“你会如何处理这种情况??或“_______本可以做些什么??可以引发公开的对话. 然后, 当你处于冲突的时刻, you can refer back to the shared context of a meaningful conversation for reference. 在这些时刻，你的孩子会了解你自己的价值观和希望, 而不是仅仅记住互动的语气.

10. 了解你的故事/叙述

Raising children can activate and remind us of our own stories and narratives, 尤其是在挑战和冲突的时刻. 如果你在中学时很挣扎，这一点尤其正确. 在Waynflete, we offer many opportunities for parents to connect and share as a way of honoring those stories and understanding them more deeply. Your child is not you- they are their own unique person whose story is unfolding. Cultivating an awareness of your own story- how you handled moments in your childhood- can be hugely beneficial in separating what is yours from what is theirs.